Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Word On The Coug - Closed

Friends -
Today is a very sad day. Word on The Coug has officially been closed until further notice. Our reasons for this are many but they include those listed below. 

1. Ant infestation on the Coug

2. Aborigines on the Coug who don't like to have their picture taken

3. Low posts to new friendship ratio

4. Decreasing popularity of us and increasing popularity of the Coug

5. Excessive lines 

6. Lack of comment support

7.  Low ad revenue 

8. Lack of free Quesadillas 

9. Declining bean and rice quality

10. Weather deterioration 

11. Low poll particaption

12. Un-safe chair conditions

13. Stolen locals only sign

14. To many people saying "You guys have to much free time" 

15. Irritiable bowel movements from an only quesadilla diet

16. Quesadilla addiction rates are raising 

17. Low meal plan counts

18. Weak polish dog inventory

19. No Kosher food menu 

20. Weak wi-fi connectivity 

21. Authors moving to foreign countries 

22. Leighton who recently signed up for study abroad in Spain solely because he thought the quesadilla was invented there has now realized it was invented in Mexico

23. C.J. who is going to South Africa solely to see Cougars has now realized Cougars do not live there

24. People actively avoiding the Coug solely because they don't want to say hi to us. 

25. Lack of respect for Coug employees 

26. Jeopardizing future employment opportunities for the authors



All and all the situation is... negative

Walk on, but this Coug is off. 


5 comments:

David L said...

Sad Day.
WOTG had a good run...

Anonymous said...

Your right situation is Negatiive ! A Few minor issues like to much sunshine and you guys are signing off ?? Couldn"t you all at least trade out english credits for your work, that should be not problem...
I need more intel on your situation ....

K.C.

alicia said...

i'm really sad now.

jeavon said...

i am going to drop out of APU now. life here will not be the same with Word on the Coug.

CJ said...

whatever Jeavon! You never wanted to enter any of our beauty pageants. Your a reason for this.