Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Word On The Coug - Closed

Friends -
Today is a very sad day. Word on The Coug has officially been closed until further notice. Our reasons for this are many but they include those listed below. 

1. Ant infestation on the Coug

2. Aborigines on the Coug who don't like to have their picture taken

3. Low posts to new friendship ratio

4. Decreasing popularity of us and increasing popularity of the Coug

5. Excessive lines 

6. Lack of comment support

7.  Low ad revenue 

8. Lack of free Quesadillas 

9. Declining bean and rice quality

10. Weather deterioration 

11. Low poll particaption

12. Un-safe chair conditions

13. Stolen locals only sign

14. To many people saying "You guys have to much free time" 

15. Irritiable bowel movements from an only quesadilla diet

16. Quesadilla addiction rates are raising 

17. Low meal plan counts

18. Weak polish dog inventory

19. No Kosher food menu 

20. Weak wi-fi connectivity 

21. Authors moving to foreign countries 

22. Leighton who recently signed up for study abroad in Spain solely because he thought the quesadilla was invented there has now realized it was invented in Mexico

23. C.J. who is going to South Africa solely to see Cougars has now realized Cougars do not live there

24. People actively avoiding the Coug solely because they don't want to say hi to us. 

25. Lack of respect for Coug employees 

26. Jeopardizing future employment opportunities for the authors



All and all the situation is... negative

Walk on, but this Coug is off. 


Protect the Coug!

Rumors of the late have been filled with talk of attacks plotted against the Coug!  We here take your safety highest among our priorities.  In response to these heinous pre-crimes a "Bomb-Squad" has been formed for your safety.  
Apart of these braves souls include regulars and friends of the Coug.  For your protection the "Bomb-Squad" has been meeting twice daily under the protection of our very own, very safe, C-Dome.  Agendas usually consist of throwing ideas around the table, and we adjourn with one person left with responsibility of carrying out the subject matter of the meeting, it is a high honor to hold this title.
Again patrons of the Coug you have nothing to worry about your safety is in our hands!  Go with the comfort of the Coug and be happy.

Friday, November 21, 2008

quesadilla with ketchup? New technique in question.


A new "fad" happening on the coug is to eat your quesadilla with ketchup. Traditionalists and Locals much like the Coug patrol look down upon this style of eating. It is being brought into a court of Coug by the Foreign Affairs Minister and also the Enforcer and Foot Patrol of the Coug. Beware Ketchup Krew, for you will not stand long.

SPOTTED: 1st ever HOT DOG ON THE COUG!




Much like the Geico Gecko, the hot dog has eluded many a crafty photograph since our tenure here at APU. However, today, a day that will live in history, this streak has ended.
The hot dog put up an unbelievable fight, and ran as hard as he could, very similar to another hot dog I know........

Family Coug Of The Day



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Thursday, November 20, 2008

Feedback Us

Do you enjoy Word on The Coug?

Do you appreciate our dedication to the highest levels of journalistic integrity?

If so, we have created a new way to post your immediate reactions to our posts. Below every posts you will now see; Funny, Fail, True, False. Simply click on the button that most readily describes your reaction and your opinion will finally be heard!

New Animal Caught on the Coug

A reader and avid Coug fan, Aimee Bidlack, recently caught this photo some sort of animal on the Coug. Speculation on what this photo shows varies but a few of the more popular theories are below. 

1. This picture caught Jon Wallace taking a break from work and going undercover to try and understand why West Campus was burned to the ground (See Post)

2. C.S. Lewis is extremely jealous of the attention his frienemy J.R.R Tolkien is getting (See Post) and sent Aslan to investigate the Coug.

3. The Cougar was intimidated by the mythical "Cornerstone Cuties" and was caught taking refuge in his dome. 

Other explanations are being accepted in the comments. 

Sexy Sharing Coug Of The Day



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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Feline Fiesta


Cougar Walk + Cat = Cougar Cat Walk


Taste Tested


Today the fine ladies at the queso stand today had the idea to upgrade my queso.  They put the Chile Verde sauce into my cheese quesadilla.  Creating a Chile Verde Quesdilla.  Give it shot.


Cougs of the Day

Birthday On The Coug - His Only Present Was A Quesadilla



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Campus Safety On The Coug



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APU the new Middle Earth?

Weird you say? Could it be that the Azusa you know has a deep, dark past? 
Well rumors have been floating around campus that acclaimed author and bad ass JRR Tolkien drew much inspiration for his famous trilogy, Lord of the Rings, from our very own APU campus.  Although the cover was almost blown in the 70's when the "Shire" modulars were erected in his honor, it has remained one of Azusa's best kept secrets until now.  
Funny thing though is that the residence of the Mods tend to fit the physique of a rather smaller, slightly fuzzier being.  The grass is a little bit greener over there, people enjoy the occasional pipe smoke, and long curly hair is must for residents (contact Tylers for more on that)
More will come with the uprising of the story, but currently we are investigating the  correlation between the prayer tower on west and the tower of Isengard.  More to follow.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Breaking News ---- West Campus Burns to the Ground

In an apparent protest of Cougar Walk operating hours several hundred students have burned West Campus down. Coug Patrol was on site for the start of the flames.

The majority of the crowd was heard chanting "We want Cougar Walk 24-7... because that sounds like heaven" Some were also yelling about wanting Quesadilla delivery options. 

Jon Wallace was quoted on site as saying "We want Cougar Walk 24-7... because that sounds like heaven."



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Word on the Coug Ratings Update

As many of you already know, Word on The Coug recently surpassed apu.edu in website hits according the the respected hit tracker, Nelson Ratings. However, some of you may be surprised to know a few of the other websites that Word on the Coug recently passed. 

www.usa.gov

www.barackobama.gov

www.facebook.com

www.google.com

www.bestbuy.com

There is a new rumor on campus that all perspective students are now being required to submit their application via the comments on this post. We can neither confirm nor deny these claims but regardless we are currently accepting applicants. 

Monday, November 17, 2008

Coug Patrol.... Puppet Style.

"I am the fastest person I have ever met." -CJ Eckman

Who here thinks they are faster than CJ?  According to him, no one.  This Friday The Coug Walk will be putting this to the test.  If you think you can beat him, please comment on this post. The winner will receive a prize of great worth. 

Be there.

PS:  The Cornerstone Cuties will be in attendance to the race.  Wear collard shirts boys.

CHAOS on the COUG.

IT has come to the inevitable my friends.
At 1:09 today, the coug ran out of beans. 
Do not panic, hopefully the coug has called in frijole reinforcement, but as for now, they are out.
Seating is also scarce, there is one table open and that is it.
It is off the hook. Precautionary measures are being taken not to experience these problems again.
The line is out of control: experimental calculations have shown the wait to be near 20 minutes from initiation.
We pray that our crisis can be solved.
until then.

The coug loves you, and so do I.

Representin' the Coug

We all encourage the support of our men's soccer final today at 2:00pm on west, anybody who's anybody will be there.  And probably the best part about it you can still troll the coug from now until 2:00, and on a minor note the match today is FREE of charge.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Cougs in Diego

Just a quick weekend update.  Some of you may of noticed we were not on the Coug on saturday night between 10p.m. on till 3 a.m.  Hope all of you had a great time at La Femme and a fantastic weekend, See you all on monday.  Walk On. But this Coug is Off. Peace. 

Friday, November 14, 2008

Live Blog From Call And Response

The coug walk is down here in Pasadena at the Call and Response showing. So far the cougar walkers account for 80% of the ticket sales...

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Cash Money Billionaire Coug of the Day


While the economy of the U.S. is tanking, look at this success story of David Linder: the First investor in Word on the Coug.blogspot.com experienced a  100,000,000,000% increase on his initial investment. He turned one measely dollar into 100,000,000,000 dollars, for all you freshman out there, that means he has almost as much money as Jesus had (aka more than you spent on American Apparel when you moved to Azusa).

The only wise investment to be made in America right now, is your time and money on wordonthecoug.blogspot.com


Coug Of The Day - The Youngest Coug Ever



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New Effiency On The Coug - Quessadilla Production Quadrupled



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Hydration Situation (on the Coug)

This morning, at approximately 9:27 A.M. The sprinklers watering the surrounding plants and grass lost their accuracy and leaked an unusual amount of water on the Coug.

Walk with caution when cruisin the coug.

Additionally we have reports of aborigine on the coug who do not like to be photographed. If you are one of these people please post your picture in the comments so we can identify you.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Late Night Coug Update

This is the Archbishop bringing you an update. 

Spiritual Talk on the Walk was a success today.
TOMORROW, FRIDAY also known as COUGDAY to the more educated crowd, is also TANK TOP FRIDAYS. So don't forget to sport your coug pride by wearing a brightly colored tank-top. You'll be able to spot the patrol because our colors shine like the rainbow (in the straightest way possible).

The coug also is going to officially endorse Call + Response tomorrow, so be aware of the update and endorsement coming tomorrow.

The coug is sleeping peacefully tonight.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Jealousy on the Coug!

The APU webpage has officially launched a new section devoted to student blogs.  Word has it that this is response to the rise in popularity of the non-affiliated, way cooler WORDONTHECOUG.BLOGSPOT.COM.  

Apparently APU wont have a blog about their campus life that surpasses any of their own, so in return they might be making an addition to the well know "Four Cornerstone"  moral.

APU's ideals will soon read:
CHRIST
   SCHOLARSHIP 
   COMMUNITY
   SERVICE
EGOTISM

Upgrade to the Coug Cafe

Due to high traffic, the Coug Cafe has added an extra grill with the potential to grill up to 4 quesadillas alone, increasing cafe numbers to 8 Q/M (quesadillas per minute) across all three grills.
Expected line size impact: minimal to moderate.
Estimated line time savings: 1 - 2 minutes.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Cougvertisement.

Beef Quesadilla with Beans and Rice: One Meal
Cornerstone Drink: 2.95 Cougar Bucks
Seconds on the Quesadilla: 5.75 Cougar Bucks
Trollin The Coug: Priceless

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Pros and Cons: Biola

Pros and Cons:  Biola

Definition:-noun (Bi-ole-uh)  Bible Institution of Los Angeles.  Located at 36.802534 Long., -120.019025 Lat.

Freshmen Definition:  Probably your back up plan for a Christian University in Southern California.

Pros:
-Voted by US News as one of the 20th best colleges for 2009.
-If you didn't fit in at High School, welcome. 
-If you didn't attend an organized school at all and had your mother teach you, welcome.
-The pressure of being athletic is not enforced.
-No such thing as ALPHA for freshmen.

Cons:
-Being in the shadow of APU at all times.
-Small.
-The Cougar Walk is not an eatery choice for you at lunch.

Major Upgrade to the Blog

Comment Situation Neutralized.  Anyone can officially leave comments on posts, you do not need a username or any type of blogger account.  You can just use your name!  Now lets Talk on the  word on the Coug (Walk).

Viewer Photo of the Day

We would like to thank Jessica Walker for catching this photo.  After investigating the scene in this photo closely it appears she spotted Facilities Management cleaning leaves off of the roof of Cougar Walk (avoiding a weight capacity overload).  More importantly it did not interrupt Coug hours.

Thanks J-Walk, Great Photo! 



Developing Story

Hawaiians are currently gathering and chanting on the Walk. Be advised.  More updates as it comes in.  

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Tatoo Of The Day - Coug Life



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Historical Coug Moments - Coug-a-Jima

Recently on the walk some loyal cougs decided to plant an umbrella in one of the tables. A random photo was snapped and the result was again, strangely similiar to something we had seen before (see also "The Last Supper" post). 


Coug-a-Jima?


Iwo Jima


Monday, November 10, 2008

Friends of the Coug


Near the end of the Coug's life today, we were joined by people whom had travelled far and wide to be with the Coug, trekked from the heat of the central valley, through the perilous (and Cop-infested) grape vine, through the gorgeous clean and clear air of Los Angeles County, all the way to Azusa, the most beautiful city in the world, just to set foot on the Coug.
Well done ladies, well done.
You're valiant.

Taylor Jessup - Best Dressed Coug Of The Day



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Tragedy On The Coug - Toxic Piece Of Hair Found In Birthday Cake



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P-fed Wins Cougar Walk Raffle - Free Tutoon And $600 Cash For Spending



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Birthday On The Coug

Today is a great day to be on the coug. Taylor storey is currently celebrating his 22nd birthday. There is free cake on the coug for anyone who kisses Taylor today.

Quessadilla statues is excellent and the weather outlook is good with a temperture of 6c (six degrees below optimum coug consumption).

Population levels are currently low. It is possible the den dwellers have stolen some of our citizens

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Cake On The Coug - Could Life Possibly Be Better?



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Friday, November 7, 2008

An epic moment.



a random passerby took a photo today of the Coug Patrol and guests, and it looked eerily familiar.

What do you say?


Chaos On The Coug - P-fed Takes Control



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Kaleo On The Coug - Chapel Leaders Eat Too!



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Coug of the Day - Reality.


He's the man, the myth, the legend. The most real person on campus.
You know him as a worship leader, we know him as a resident of Mount Olympus.
He's been known to worship (on) the Coug.

My Lord, Shawn Morones.

Potential Spy Found On The Coug - Video Taping



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Thursday, November 6, 2008

Helis Inbound On Cougar Walk - Greatest Day In APU History?



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CHOPPERS INBOUND, BE ADVISED!

As many of you may have heard three Military Choppers touched down on our own Cougar Field approximately 12:51 pm pacific standard time.

This story starts on West when three choppers were spotted circling low over campus, radio contact reported saying "Chopper 1 asked for permission to buzz the bell tower on west, while 2 and 3 went ahead and did it anyways."  After three fly-bys the helis proceeded to East to land on the field (photo below courtesy Cusack.)

CJ, Leighton and myself continued coverage by sprinting over to the field to capture this grand moment first hand.  On a side note rumors that CJ is the fastest person "he" knows are true.

After arriving we over heard some jargon on the field including some 'Full Birds' yelling at the 'Grunts' saying "Get to work boys all I want to see are assholes and elbows!"

Could this have possibly been the Greatest Day on the Coug to date?  You be the judge.

There is no need for panic though, they are only here to take part in a Dog and Pony show (as an early Veterans Day Celebration).




Non-profit Of The Century - Preemptivelove.org - Found On The Coug



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Honorable Coug Of The Day - He ComeS From Citrus To Eat Coug



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Coug If The Day - For A Fearless Cougviction To Hard Work



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Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Electoral Update III

It has come to our attention that many people are using a website called "Facebook" to express their political beliefs. Facebook is a website that some people use to find Word on The Coug when the can't remember the address. 

We decided to review these things on facebook and make a top ten list of the most quality status'
(some names have been changed to keep identity secret)

10.  Cougar Walk is at a dance party with Barack Obama. Hell yah! USA. Dance!

9. Cougar Walk is proud of our country for this moment in history. 

8. Cougar Walk is kissing his 401K good bye. 

And apparently people changed their status to fast so we will have to wait until 2012 to finish numbers 7,6,5,4,3,2,1


Emergency Information Request

Today the board of the coug reviewed a series of recent suspicious incidents. Including but not limited too: 

Bee hive found on the coug premises
Rainstorm occurring close to coug operation hours 
Electrical malfunction on the coug
Runny beans

 After review of the facts the board of the coug believe that there may be a spy in our midst. Possible suspects include:

Taco Bell
Taco King
Jon Wallace
Various Den Dwellers
A rival organization know as the "Cornerstone Cuties" 
The State of California
Ghosts 

Please report any suspicious activity to us immediately. Suspicious activity could include, but is not limited too:

Rain dances
People wearing Bee suits
People carrying firearms 
People looking suspicious 

Any information leading to a cougviction will be rewarded by 27 virgin quesadillas after death. 


Pros and Cons: Rain

Definition: Rain-noun
1. water that is condensed from the aqueous vapor in the atmosphere and falls to the earth in drops more than 1/50 in. (0.5 mm) in diameter.

Freshmen Definition: that sky stuff that makes things wet.

Pros:
-Brings life to all living things for it carries the vital elements of Hydrogen and Oxygen.
-Washes your car.
-Makes any outdoor sport BA.

Cons:
-Shuts down the the Cougar Walk. Nuff said.

Coug of the Day





These coug's of the day were chosen for their rabid support of Word on the Coug, and their support of Cougar Walk's quesadillas.
Congratulations ladies, you are immortalized in Coug History.

Coug Rice Quality Is Lower Then Initially Forcasted



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Coug Status Update

Coug status today is busy. Some sort of coug convention is going on and music is playing at approximately 27 cd (coug decibels).

Quesadilla taste is below average... It's a chicken day. But for a chicken day, it's above average.

Beans are not running today correcting a two day coralation pattern that we were starting to see.

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Some Sort Of Convention On The Coug



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Very Important Poll Update

For the first time in Word on The Coug history, "babes" is no longer leading our poll. It now seems that the majority of coug customers actually come to the coug for "quesadillas".

The coug patrol is investigating these claims. The majority of us were formerly unaware that:

A. Quesadillas is actually a type of food and a not a synonym for babes.
B. Customers came to the coug to eat Quesdillas 

Any input on the situation is welcome

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Electoral Update II

Some of you may have heard that there was a presidential election in the United States today. The United States is a small country near the cougar walk. 

John McCain and Barack Obama were the two candidates in this election. John McCain recently conceded defeat. A source close to the incident quoted John as saying "I wish I had spent more time on the Cougar Walk, maybe I'll run for President there." 

He may be showing up soon... 


Electoral Update

Rumor has it that if Barack Obama wins this election there potentially could be a "coug" d'├ętat on our hands in order overthrow the walk and make it safe haven for all Republicans alike.

Authority is currently unaware of the situation, and we are positively looking into it.

Eletrical Issues On The Coug - Current Status Unknow



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Update On Bees

This just in.

We are now being told that the bees may actually be a rare variety of African killer bees. These bees were previously only know to exist in Nigeria.

Facts provided by Brian Kraft

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Man Of The Day Of The Coug - He Got A Girls Number On The Coug!!!!



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Coug Patrol Called In Back Up To Deal With Bee



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General Up Keep

Today is taste test Tuesday. I have consumed two full meals of the Barbacoa Quesadilla with beans and rice. I give it a 8/10. But there is cilantro.

Opinions:
Jessica Walk - "Chips are too crumbly."
Chase Reynolds -"No input."
Aimee Bidlack - "I feel good. The weather, the weather is good. chill."

Presidential News:
The RED to BLUE shirt ratio is 5:3

If we use the transitive property, McCain should win the election today.

Coug Safety Status Update

Breaking news ------- 12:19 PM

A bee hive was spotted by a vigilant coug customer directly overhead the cashier. The coug was immediately secured and coug patrolled rolled in and took care of the threat. All of the bees have now officially been declared neutralized by the coug patrol.

In other news

Quesdilla quality is excellent today with a low acidic levels and excellent bean and rice portions. The beans are slightly runny again. This is the second day in a row. Appropriate action is being taken by the coug patrol.

Remember. This Friday is "Raffle on the walk Friday." Prizes will be generous.

False Alarm

Quick scare this morning,

 The walk was hit by a rain storm last night and word around campus was it would be closed for lunch.  The storm quickly passed and the sun was once again shinning on the walk.  


Coug Status: OPEN

Emergency Alert! Bees Found On The Coug



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Monday, November 3, 2008

Sour Dream

There was a breach in the Cougar Walk infrastructure today.  Let's just get to it.... if you want sour cream on your queso, they do have it!  But if you ask "Where's the sour cream condi?"  No info will come your way.  Due to a Salmonella scare last year, they have removed the Sour Cream dish from the "open air."  They happen to keep it in small doses under the "soups."  ( I refer to them as soups for who knows what's in it).  It comes in small white pouches that resemble 3-D Doritos that I use to munch on in 8th grade.  Hope your lunch is that much better now.  Lets just say, I wouldn't want this in my queso.

Voting on the Coug

As many of you may have seen, "Authority" was on the coug today taking poles on the quality of the coug-food.  Regardless if you took part in it or not, we of the coug want to encourage you not to forget to take part in the national election, taking place in town near you, tomorrow tuesday the 4th.

Voting this year's going to be an important one and we hope all of you will be able to make it to the poles.  

Join us on the coug tomorrow for a politicin' good time on the walk.  Stick around, cause word has it we might be watching the votes come in as well.

See you in the Jungle!


Coug of the DAY


Cat, because she's just ridiculously awesome.

and the only girl who can rock a fedora.

Dramatization of the Wipeout on the Walk

Spiritual Talk On The Walk - In Action



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The coug recognizes the month of November

This month is the month of No-Shave November, an official holiday on the coug. 

This Friday, the coug will be having a raffle. BE READY!

And let it be known, Mike McGowan has arrived.

Casey Williams called out on the Coug

Casey Williams has officially challenged Taylor Storey to man beard-off, to end the first of December.

On a darker note, the beans are watery.

Forecast on the coug, is 67 degrees Fahrenheit, with a southern wind at about 5 - 6 mpq (miles per quesadilla). It's slightly cloudy with a chance of precipitation. The barometric pressure is approaching 760 Torr.

Major Accident / Traffic Jam on the Coug

Five minutes ago, a major accident was witnessed upon the coug. 
An unidentified young male was spotted shredding the gnar on his skate. He came onto the coug and ricocheted off the table, and therefore drawing all attention to him. The victim did not seem to notice a ginormous cable in the way, which he collided with. 

The board stopped, but he did not.

The young male was cleared for flight, and lifted off. Gravity then took hold of the man, and he abruptly started to lose altitude. He was then rudely halted by Mother Earth.

He was uninjured, and was immediately treated by the Coug's on staff and on call physician, Dr. Phil (aka Peter).

The suspect then quickly collected himself and bonzed away to avoid the limelight of being "that guy."

Dramatization and re-enactment will be posted soon.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Saturday, November 1, 2008

William Shakescoug

Pat'n the Coug

Queso and friends,
it hits the spot.
From Fall to Spring,
weather cold or hot.
Beans and Rice,
it's a home run hit!
The Soda goes POP,
but wait who was it?
I think it's that guy,
over by that rock.
Life is good,
when you're on the Cougar Walk.

-Gregory Lloyd Christian

Coug Recovery

The coug's just taking a day of rest after a hard days partying last night. 

We were totally stoked to see so many costumes on the coug yesterday, get some rest people and prep yourself for yet another awesome week!

Until Monday

-Jason.