Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Today is a very sad day. Word on The Coug has officially been closed until further notice. Our reasons for this are many but they include those listed below.
1. Ant infestation on the Coug
2. Aborigines on the Coug who don't like to have their picture taken
3. Low posts to new friendship ratio
4. Decreasing popularity of us and increasing popularity of the Coug
5. Excessive lines
6. Lack of comment support
7. Low ad revenue
8. Lack of free Quesadillas
9. Declining bean and rice quality
10. Weather deterioration
11. Low poll particaption
12. Un-safe chair conditions
13. Stolen locals only sign
14. To many people saying "You guys have to much free time"
15. Irritiable bowel movements from an only quesadilla diet
16. Quesadilla addiction rates are raising
17. Low meal plan counts
18. Weak polish dog inventory
19. No Kosher food menu
20. Weak wi-fi connectivity
21. Authors moving to foreign countries
22. Leighton who recently signed up for study abroad in Spain solely because he thought the quesadilla was invented there has now realized it was invented in Mexico
23. C.J. who is going to South Africa solely to see Cougars has now realized Cougars do not live there
24. People actively avoiding the Coug solely because they don't want to say hi to us.
25. Lack of respect for Coug employees
26. Jeopardizing future employment opportunities for the authors
All and all the situation is... negative
Walk on, but this Coug is off.
Rumors of the late have been filled with talk of attacks plotted against the Coug! We here take your safety highest among our priorities. In response to these heinous pre-crimes a "Bomb-Squad" has been formed for your safety.
Apart of these braves souls include regulars and friends of the Coug. For your protection the "Bomb-Squad" has been meeting twice daily under the protection of our very own, very safe, C-Dome. Agendas usually consist of throwing ideas around the table, and we adjourn with one person left with responsibility of carrying out the subject matter of the meeting, it is a high honor to hold this title.
Again patrons of the Coug you have nothing to worry about your safety is in our hands! Go with the comfort of the Coug and be happy.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
A new "fad" happening on the coug is to eat your quesadilla with ketchup. Traditionalists and Locals much like the Coug patrol look down upon this style of eating. It is being brought into a court of Coug by the Foreign Affairs Minister and also the Enforcer and Foot Patrol of the Coug. Beware Ketchup Krew, for you will not stand long.
Much like the Geico Gecko, the hot dog has eluded many a crafty photograph since our tenure here at APU. However, today, a day that will live in history, this streak has ended.
The hot dog put up an unbelievable fight, and ran as hard as he could, very similar to another hot dog I know........