Friday, September 11, 2009
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Word On The Coug - Closed
Friends -
Today is a very sad day. Word on The Coug has officially been closed until further notice. Our reasons for this are many but they include those listed below.
1. Ant infestation on the Coug
2. Aborigines on the Coug who don't like to have their picture taken
3. Low posts to new friendship ratio
4. Decreasing popularity of us and increasing popularity of the Coug
5. Excessive lines
6. Lack of comment support
7. Low ad revenue
8. Lack of free Quesadillas
9. Declining bean and rice quality
10. Weather deterioration
11. Low poll particaption
12. Un-safe chair conditions
13. Stolen locals only sign
14. To many people saying "You guys have to much free time"
15. Irritiable bowel movements from an only quesadilla diet
16. Quesadilla addiction rates are raising
17. Low meal plan counts
18. Weak polish dog inventory
19. No Kosher food menu
20. Weak wi-fi connectivity
21. Authors moving to foreign countries
22. Leighton who recently signed up for study abroad in Spain solely because he thought the quesadilla was invented there has now realized it was invented in Mexico
23. C.J. who is going to South Africa solely to see Cougars has now realized Cougars do not live there
24. People actively avoiding the Coug solely because they don't want to say hi to us.
25. Lack of respect for Coug employees
26. Jeopardizing future employment opportunities for the authors
All and all the situation is... negative
Walk on, but this Coug is off.
Protect the Coug!
Rumors of the late have been filled with talk of attacks plotted against the Coug! We here take your safety highest among our priorities. In response to these heinous pre-crimes a "Bomb-Squad" has been formed for your safety.
Apart of these braves souls include regulars and friends of the Coug. For your protection the "Bomb-Squad" has been meeting twice daily under the protection of our very own, very safe, C-Dome. Agendas usually consist of throwing ideas around the table, and we adjourn with one person left with responsibility of carrying out the subject matter of the meeting, it is a high honor to hold this title.
Again patrons of the Coug you have nothing to worry about your safety is in our hands! Go with the comfort of the Coug and be happy.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
quesadilla with ketchup? New technique in question.
A new "fad" happening on the coug is to eat your quesadilla with ketchup. Traditionalists and Locals much like the Coug patrol look down upon this style of eating. It is being brought into a court of Coug by the Foreign Affairs Minister and also the Enforcer and Foot Patrol of the Coug. Beware Ketchup Krew, for you will not stand long.
SPOTTED: 1st ever HOT DOG ON THE COUG!
Much like the Geico Gecko, the hot dog has eluded many a crafty photograph since our tenure here at APU. However, today, a day that will live in history, this streak has ended.
The hot dog put up an unbelievable fight, and ran as hard as he could, very similar to another hot dog I know........
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Feedback Us
Do you enjoy Word on The Coug?
Do you appreciate our dedication to the highest levels of journalistic integrity?
If so, we have created a new way to post your immediate reactions to our posts. Below every posts you will now see; Funny, Fail, True, False. Simply click on the button that most readily describes your reaction and your opinion will finally be heard!
New Animal Caught on the Coug
A reader and avid Coug fan, Aimee Bidlack, recently caught this photo some sort of animal on the Coug. Speculation on what this photo shows varies but a few of the more popular theories are below. 1. This picture caught Jon Wallace taking a break from work and going undercover to try and understand why West Campus was burned to the ground (See Post)
2. C.S. Lewis is extremely jealous of the attention his frienemy J.R.R Tolkien is getting (See Post) and sent Aslan to investigate the Coug.
3. The Cougar was intimidated by the mythical "Cornerstone Cuties" and was caught taking refuge in his dome.
Other explanations are being accepted in the comments.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Taste Tested
Today the fine ladies at the queso stand today had the idea to upgrade my queso. They put the Chile Verde sauce into my cheese quesadilla. Creating a Chile Verde Quesdilla. Give it shot.
APU the new Middle Earth?
Weird you say? Could it be that the Azusa you know has a deep, dark past?
Well rumors have been floating around campus that acclaimed author and bad ass JRR Tolkien drew much inspiration for his famous trilogy, Lord of the Rings, from our very own APU campus. Although the cover was almost blown in the 70's when the "Shire" modulars were erected in his honor, it has remained one of Azusa's best kept secrets until now.
Funny thing though is that the residence of the Mods tend to fit the physique of a rather smaller, slightly fuzzier being. The grass is a little bit greener over there, people enjoy the occasional pipe smoke, and long curly hair is must for residents (contact Tylers for more on that)
More will come with the uprising of the story, but currently we are investigating the correlation between the prayer tower on west and the tower of Isengard. More to follow.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Breaking News ---- West Campus Burns to the Ground
In an apparent protest of Cougar Walk operating hours several hundred students have burned West Campus down. Coug Patrol was on site for the start of the flames.The majority of the crowd was heard chanting "We want Cougar Walk 24-7... because that sounds like heaven" Some were also yelling about wanting Quesadilla delivery options.
Jon Wallace was quoted on site as saying "We want Cougar Walk 24-7... because that sounds like heaven."
Word on the Coug Ratings Update
As many of you already know, Word on The Coug recently surpassed apu.edu in website hits according the the respected hit tracker, Nelson Ratings. However, some of you may be surprised to know a few of the other websites that Word on the Coug recently passed.
www.usa.gov
www.barackobama.gov
www.facebook.com
www.google.com
www.bestbuy.com
There is a new rumor on campus that all perspective students are now being required to submit their application via the comments on this post. We can neither confirm nor deny these claims but regardless we are currently accepting applicants.
Monday, November 17, 2008
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